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Writing a blurb…..seriously sucks…

So I have spent many many hours trying to come up with the best blurb possible for my upcoming YA fantasy novel Creeping Shadow! And what have I learnt?

Writing a blurb suckssss!!

I can write thousands of words to make a novel but apparently summing it up in a few hundred is just anout the most impossible thing ever. But after a lot of moaning, sighing, deleteting words and swearing at my cat I have come up with a blurb! And now I need some feedback!

So here it is the blurb to Creeping Shadow (Book One in The Rise of Isaac Series) that will be available to by December 2015 (woo!)…………….

A man waits in Vale, a world void of humanity.
A mother vanishes, her disappearance concealed by the police.
A girl falls from her bed, black veins encircling her heart.
And a boy linked to them all must fight to save his family.

Earth is just one of seven worlds. Gateways divide the realms and those who pass through must earn a key for each one, participating in challenges that will separate the fearful from the brave, the weak from the strong, and the witless from the cunning.
Meet sixteen year old Oliver Knight. He knows nothing of the other worlds or his family’s dark past. But when his adopted sister succumbs to a deadly curse the truth is revealed and he is plunged into an unknown land in a desperate plight to save her. Though Oliver soon discovers that not everyone is on his side and he must choose who to trust, who to believe and, ultimately, who to run from.
The journey begins with a devastating truth, whispers of a rising cult, a race against time, and an enemy that lurks in the shadows…

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      1. That’s another thing I’m having trouble with! Trying to whittle down the genre type. It’s YA and Paranormal/Urban. Or maybe Paranormal/Romance? Though there isn’t too much romance in it lol There are soo many different sub-categories that even that can get confusing! Good luck with the rest of your book! It really sounds like you conjured up an imaginative universe for your characters! πŸ™‚

      2. Ah I have this problem too! There are sooo many subcategories and I think the problem is that a book generally comes under many of those categories. All you can do is choose one which is as close as possible to what it is πŸ™‚

        Thank you! πŸ˜†

  1. Blurbs, synopsis, queries, they all suuuuuuucccckkkkk. I understand your pain, my friend lol. I think what you have now is fantastic. My humble opinion is shortening it a bit more will add greater impact, but this is good. πŸ™‚

    1. They do suck haha. Thank you so much! Yeah I know it is a tad long…but it’s hard to talk about the story without setting up the concept! But I can probably trim bits and pieces for sure πŸ™‚

      1. You are welcome! I did some querying a few years back and I HATED this part of the process. Trying to explain 130k word book in 5 sentences is no walk in the park.

      2. I know and it has to be so intriguing and give away just enough of the plot – but not too much! And hint at what might happen without actually saying anything at all!

      3. The painful part of the process, but as the saying goes, no pain no gain. Keep up the good work. You are journey is encouraging. πŸ™‚

      1. Thanks! I like to write about New Orleans, so some of my original blog posts are from my main character. I also do cover reveals etc., to help out other writers. πŸ™‚

  2. Love writing blurbs myself, though they can be tricky, especially when you have a v. complicated premise. This one is very intriguing, I especially like the content of the italic text at the start; I’d only make a few small suggestions:
    1. ‘black veins encircling her heart’. I think I know what you mean, but it’s a little unclear–i.e., are actual veins turning black wrapping around her heart, or can one see the veins through the skin over her heart turning black and forming a circle? This one might just be me though…
    2. ‘Meet sixteen year old Oliver Knight’. This sentence seems to me to be less formal in tone than the rest of the blurb, and thus a tiny bit jarring. I’d simply use something like, ‘Sixteen year old Oliver Knight knows nothing of other worlds or…’
    3.’Attempt’ or possibly ‘bid’ or ‘fight’ instead of ‘plight’.
    4. I’m not sure if beginning a sentence with ‘though’ works in this context, I would suggest removing ‘Though Oliver soon discovers that’ and replacing it with just ‘And’, i.e., ‘And not everyone is on his side; he must choose who to trust…’
    5. I’d cut the last sentence entirely, what comes before it is more than enough to entice the reader and apart from the mention of the cult it doesn’t have any new information.
    Personally I’m always going back and changing my blurbs–just like the texts of the books themselves. The good thing is it’s easy to keep as many versions as you want around to compare against each other! πŸ™‚

    1. Thank you so much this is really helpful! I can definitely see what you mean about the encircling of the heart I’m trying to hint at the curse mentioned later but perhaps I could word it slightly clearer.
      The other pointers you’ve made are really spot on I’m gonna go do some editing hehe!
      ❀️❀️❀️❀️

    2. Sorry to bother you again! Would you mind just reading this rewrite…..😁

      A man waits in Vale, a world void of humanity.
      A mother vanishes, her disappearance concealed by the police.
      A girl falls from her bed, awaking the house with her screams.
      And a boy linked to them all must fight to save his family.

      Earth is just one of seven worlds. Gateways divide the realms and those who pass through must earn keys, participating in challenges that will separate the fearful from the brave, the weak from the strong, and the witless from the cunning.

      Sixteen year old Oliver Knight knows nothing of the other worlds or his family’s dark past. But when his adopted sister succumbs to a deadly curse the truth is revealed and he is plunged into an unknown land in a desperate bid to save her. He soon discovers that not everyone is on his side and must choose who to trust, who to believe and, ultimately, who to fear…

      1. This is great–the only thing I’m not so sure about is the very last sentence, because I’m not sure who ‘everyone’ entails or why they would have been assumed to be on Oliver’s side. My suggestion would be to bring the villain/antagonist(s) more obviously into the picture, with something like, ‘However, a great evil/mysterious cult/enemies known and unknown seek to thwart/destroy him, and Oliver/Oliver’s sister’s life depends on the choices he must make in who to trust, who to believe..etc.’ or something. I hope this helps! πŸ™‚

      2. Oh yeah it’s so hard to see things like that when I know everything lol it’s so helpful to get an outside persepective! Thank you πŸ˜†

      3. Hi again! I’m SO sorry to keep bothering you and I hope this will be the last time lol but I’ve rewritten that last sentence and with a bit of luck it is ready!

        Sixteen year old Oliver Knight knows nothing of the other worlds or his family’s dark past. But when his adopted sister succumbs to a deadly curse the truth is revealed and he is plunged into an unknown land in a desperate bid to save her. However, a dark enemy is on the rise and the danger they face at every turn throws those around them under suspicion. In order to survive, Oliver must figure out who to trust, who to believe and, ultimately, who to fear…

      4. Well, I have no suggestions left to make! Seriously though, comment me at any time–it may take me a while to get back to you since I’m often away from cyberland, but it’s never a bother! πŸ™‚

  3. Wooo! Your character has my last name! That’s awesome πŸ˜„
    And good job with the blurb, they are much harder than writing the actual story! ❀

  4. That’s not a bad blurb. I like it. I have two small comments. You should take out the word “though” at the start of one of your last sentences because you never complete the thought. It should go “though blah, thus blah.” Also, “an enemy that lurks in the shadows” is a little cliche. Try to define the enemy slightly more.

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